It has been a LONG time!

Well, it seems to be forever since I have written. I guess I didn't really have much to write about. Just trying to get by, day by day...

However, now I have something that recently happened and I thought it would be worth blogging about.

MOURNING, I know that sounds strange, wierd, crazy but the other day looking at myself in my full length mirror, and I had a lot of emotion come up.

I look like a deflating balloon, or if anyone remembers the book, saggy baggy elephant and I started to feel like I was losing "myself". The thought of getting rid of all the clothes that have given me so much comfort over time and being frustrated that when I get dressed I feel like a little girl playing dress up in my mothers clothes and knowing I can't just go out and buy clothes that fit for the time.

I am not being ungreatful, I love the energy I have, the fact that I wanted to buy something and I couldn't because the sizes were TOO BIG! That was the first time that has EVER happened to me.

That day we went to the Outlets and it is always a great people watching opportunity and I looked around and saw so many women that looked like it was hurting them to walk, when it probably was, I remember that not so long ago it was me. Inside I wished I could just go up to them and say hey, your life can change.... But the truth of it is, your life CAN'T change until you are ready, not just because someone tells you it can.

Anyway, a day ago I had two ladies at Leanza's school just raising a fuss over me and making me feel soooooo good so I am feeling better about being a little bit less of "myself"!

So far pictures :)

October 13, 2009

Ok, while the weight loss is going really really well, last night I noticed that my hair is falling out. From all that I have read it is pretty much inevitable. CRAP! It isn't like I have the hair to spare to begin with. I do have a couple of wigs I have bought but they were suppose to be for fun, it feels different to HAVE to wear them. I am thinking of getting my hair cut short, it needs to be cut anyway. I have also noticed many many more grey hairs, YIKES!

Food is still a big issue, I pretty much live off of protein bars, cheese and water. Every now and again I can eat something. While I was in NJ I had eggplant and it didn't bother me, the other night I had a bit of Nachos and while at dinner at Sam's I had 2 meatballs and some nuts LOL that sounds funny together! :) Oh well, I use to live to eat and now it is just eating to live.

However on a positive note, I am down 72lbs!!! I fit into clothes now, I have not been able to in YEARS! I look at my face in the mirror and I look different, I am not sure how I feel about that just yet.

My 3 month check up was today

I had a great check up today, I am right on track where I should be loss wise.

My blood work was not great but not too bad either.

I need to take mega doses of Vit D for about 6 mos.

My iron was low so I have to make sure I take that, I need to start Biotin now, I was shown how to give myself the vit B shots, they are only once a month, take fish oil and, I have to drink a half of a glass of red wine in the eve. Doctor's orders :)

I can now take regular vits instead of those chewable things YUCK, I will much more be likely to take them. I need to get a big pill box for the week now!!!

Feelin pretty good.

Went to my PCP today!

Good news! My BP was 90/70 and she took me completely off my BP medicine!

Also, I am down now a total of 58lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went last week while mom was there and in that time I lost another 3lbs. I didn't do much activity wise last week due to a terrible but I was real careful with my eating. Now it is time to kick it into gear, I want to be under the 300 mark before I have to go to my check up at the surgeons next week.

She yelled at me because my clothes were too big, she told me to get myself to the Goodwill LOL!

But they are soooooooooooooo comfy!

Feelin GREAT!

Today was Leanza's first day of her new school, it went fantabulously! :)

When Julio and I got home from dropping her off we did some weeding out front and cleaning and sweeping and moving chairs/benches, etc.

Later I took mom to her dr apt and guess what? I have lost 55 lbs already! I now weigh what I did before I got pregnant for Leanza 4 years ago!

I have so much energy when I got home I walked on my treadmill, I will do my weights later while I am watching tv.

Ok, I am motivated once again. I CAN DO THIS!

Feelin better

I am doing better.

I started to walk at the park with Julio, actually we got "scolded" by a police officer one night because we were 10 mins late leaving. Sheesh!!

So that walking really helps. I also have been lifting weights like hand weights a couple hundred reps a day!

Tomorrow mom has a dr apt so I am going to jump on the scale there to see how it compares to mine at home. I hope good :)