It has been a LONG time!

Well, it seems to be forever since I have written. I guess I didn't really have much to write about. Just trying to get by, day by day...

However, now I have something that recently happened and I thought it would be worth blogging about.

MOURNING, I know that sounds strange, wierd, crazy but the other day looking at myself in my full length mirror, and I had a lot of emotion come up.

I look like a deflating balloon, or if anyone remembers the book, saggy baggy elephant and I started to feel like I was losing "myself". The thought of getting rid of all the clothes that have given me so much comfort over time and being frustrated that when I get dressed I feel like a little girl playing dress up in my mothers clothes and knowing I can't just go out and buy clothes that fit for the time.

I am not being ungreatful, I love the energy I have, the fact that I wanted to buy something and I couldn't because the sizes were TOO BIG! That was the first time that has EVER happened to me.

That day we went to the Outlets and it is always a great people watching opportunity and I looked around and saw so many women that looked like it was hurting them to walk, when it probably was, I remember that not so long ago it was me. Inside I wished I could just go up to them and say hey, your life can change.... But the truth of it is, your life CAN'T change until you are ready, not just because someone tells you it can.

Anyway, a day ago I had two ladies at Leanza's school just raising a fuss over me and making me feel soooooo good so I am feeling better about being a little bit less of "myself"!