On the 30th it will be my one year anniversary!
I had great news at the dr yesterday. I am down 112 lbs and my blood work all looked good.
Some exciting,scary news...I can now start to see a plastic surgeon...OMG!
During the summer it is terrible to have folds of skin. A lot of the time I get terrible rashes that HURT sooo bad and this year I am really afraid because I have more folds than before. It would be a dream to not have to worry about those!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Just have to vent!
I guess I could just e mail you Lauren since I think you are the only one that looks at my blog :) but I am putting it here as a reminder of part of this experience.
How come, the one who can't eat has to always be in charge of food? The menu, the shopping, the picking up...tonight Julio's brother came over to help out with some rewiring and it was getting late and they wanted chicken wings (which were a FAVORITE food of mine BEFORE surgery) well, they not only got wings but from my favorite place and my favorite subs, chicken cheese steaks. So I had to go and pick it up and drive home with it,smelling it the whole way!!! I was almost in tears! So as they sat down to dinner I sat down to my stupid protein shake. It is crazy this "food" thing.
Then I start thinking, this is going to be for MY WHOLE LIFE!!! Yes, I enjoy being healthier and yes I enjoy wearing a smaller size but.....sometimes it just plain STINKS!
Ok, I am tired. I was at a Mary Kay event all day today and was up at 6:30am! (This is why missed your shower....sorry Lauren!! We will have to have lunch/playdate or a girls time out ok?
How come, the one who can't eat has to always be in charge of food? The menu, the shopping, the picking up...tonight Julio's brother came over to help out with some rewiring and it was getting late and they wanted chicken wings (which were a FAVORITE food of mine BEFORE surgery) well, they not only got wings but from my favorite place and my favorite subs, chicken cheese steaks. So I had to go and pick it up and drive home with it,smelling it the whole way!!! I was almost in tears! So as they sat down to dinner I sat down to my stupid protein shake. It is crazy this "food" thing.
Then I start thinking, this is going to be for MY WHOLE LIFE!!! Yes, I enjoy being healthier and yes I enjoy wearing a smaller size but.....sometimes it just plain STINKS!
Ok, I am tired. I was at a Mary Kay event all day today and was up at 6:30am! (This is why missed your shower....sorry Lauren!! We will have to have lunch/playdate or a girls time out ok?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
20
Well, I just HAD to update today. I had some exciting happenings! I got into my size 20 jeans!!!
I know for some that is still like woah those are big but when you consider I use to wear a tight size 32!
I have really been trying to be good about taking my supplements because I have to go next month to have my blood work done before my year visit.
Sometimes I feel like the progress is slow (by my own hand) and sometimes I think about how it has only been almost a year and I have "taken off" what took me over 9 years to put on. I honestly do not remember when I weighed what I do now or when I was in a size 20.
I feel awesome!
I know for some that is still like woah those are big but when you consider I use to wear a tight size 32!
I have really been trying to be good about taking my supplements because I have to go next month to have my blood work done before my year visit.
Sometimes I feel like the progress is slow (by my own hand) and sometimes I think about how it has only been almost a year and I have "taken off" what took me over 9 years to put on. I honestly do not remember when I weighed what I do now or when I was in a size 20.
I feel awesome!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
It has been a LONG time!
Well, it seems to be forever since I have written. I guess I didn't really have much to write about. Just trying to get by, day by day...
However, now I have something that recently happened and I thought it would be worth blogging about.
MOURNING, I know that sounds strange, wierd, crazy but the other day looking at myself in my full length mirror, and I had a lot of emotion come up.
I look like a deflating balloon, or if anyone remembers the book, saggy baggy elephant and I started to feel like I was losing "myself". The thought of getting rid of all the clothes that have given me so much comfort over time and being frustrated that when I get dressed I feel like a little girl playing dress up in my mothers clothes and knowing I can't just go out and buy clothes that fit for the time.
I am not being ungreatful, I love the energy I have, the fact that I wanted to buy something and I couldn't because the sizes were TOO BIG! That was the first time that has EVER happened to me.
That day we went to the Outlets and it is always a great people watching opportunity and I looked around and saw so many women that looked like it was hurting them to walk, when it probably was, I remember that not so long ago it was me. Inside I wished I could just go up to them and say hey, your life can change.... But the truth of it is, your life CAN'T change until you are ready, not just because someone tells you it can.
Anyway, a day ago I had two ladies at Leanza's school just raising a fuss over me and making me feel soooooo good so I am feeling better about being a little bit less of "myself"!
However, now I have something that recently happened and I thought it would be worth blogging about.
MOURNING, I know that sounds strange, wierd, crazy but the other day looking at myself in my full length mirror, and I had a lot of emotion come up.
I look like a deflating balloon, or if anyone remembers the book, saggy baggy elephant and I started to feel like I was losing "myself". The thought of getting rid of all the clothes that have given me so much comfort over time and being frustrated that when I get dressed I feel like a little girl playing dress up in my mothers clothes and knowing I can't just go out and buy clothes that fit for the time.
I am not being ungreatful, I love the energy I have, the fact that I wanted to buy something and I couldn't because the sizes were TOO BIG! That was the first time that has EVER happened to me.
That day we went to the Outlets and it is always a great people watching opportunity and I looked around and saw so many women that looked like it was hurting them to walk, when it probably was, I remember that not so long ago it was me. Inside I wished I could just go up to them and say hey, your life can change.... But the truth of it is, your life CAN'T change until you are ready, not just because someone tells you it can.
Anyway, a day ago I had two ladies at Leanza's school just raising a fuss over me and making me feel soooooo good so I am feeling better about being a little bit less of "myself"!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
October 13, 2009
Ok, while the weight loss is going really really well, last night I noticed that my hair is falling out. From all that I have read it is pretty much inevitable. CRAP! It isn't like I have the hair to spare to begin with. I do have a couple of wigs I have bought but they were suppose to be for fun, it feels different to HAVE to wear them. I am thinking of getting my hair cut short, it needs to be cut anyway. I have also noticed many many more grey hairs, YIKES!
Food is still a big issue, I pretty much live off of protein bars, cheese and water. Every now and again I can eat something. While I was in NJ I had eggplant and it didn't bother me, the other night I had a bit of Nachos and while at dinner at Sam's I had 2 meatballs and some nuts LOL that sounds funny together! :) Oh well, I use to live to eat and now it is just eating to live.
However on a positive note, I am down 72lbs!!! I fit into clothes now, I have not been able to in YEARS! I look at my face in the mirror and I look different, I am not sure how I feel about that just yet.
Food is still a big issue, I pretty much live off of protein bars, cheese and water. Every now and again I can eat something. While I was in NJ I had eggplant and it didn't bother me, the other night I had a bit of Nachos and while at dinner at Sam's I had 2 meatballs and some nuts LOL that sounds funny together! :) Oh well, I use to live to eat and now it is just eating to live.
However on a positive note, I am down 72lbs!!! I fit into clothes now, I have not been able to in YEARS! I look at my face in the mirror and I look different, I am not sure how I feel about that just yet.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
My 3 month check up was today
I had a great check up today, I am right on track where I should be loss wise.
My blood work was not great but not too bad either.
I need to take mega doses of Vit D for about 6 mos.
My iron was low so I have to make sure I take that, I need to start Biotin now, I was shown how to give myself the vit B shots, they are only once a month, take fish oil and, I have to drink a half of a glass of red wine in the eve. Doctor's orders :)
I can now take regular vits instead of those chewable things YUCK, I will much more be likely to take them. I need to get a big pill box for the week now!!!
Feelin pretty good.
My blood work was not great but not too bad either.
I need to take mega doses of Vit D for about 6 mos.
My iron was low so I have to make sure I take that, I need to start Biotin now, I was shown how to give myself the vit B shots, they are only once a month, take fish oil and, I have to drink a half of a glass of red wine in the eve. Doctor's orders :)
I can now take regular vits instead of those chewable things YUCK, I will much more be likely to take them. I need to get a big pill box for the week now!!!
Feelin pretty good.
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